This is Autism

The Community Mobilizes to Drown Out the Latest Hate Speech From Autism Speaks

 

When you're different, people say things to you that they wouldn't say to so-called 'normal' people. They talk about you like you're not even there.

Sometimes I wonder if they think we can't hear them. But I know the truth: they just don't care

It's been referred to as 'Wrong Planet Syndrome' because many of us feel like we must be an alien from another place.

Where we come from people aren't so eager to invade your personal space in the name of "being friendly." We don't have an incessant need to fill every silent pause with idle chit-chat.

We try really hard to learn the social customs and rules of this planet. But many of them don't make any sense. And no matter how many times you practice, "Hi, how are you?" It never feels natural.

Many of us don't understand why you don't just say 'hi' when you mean to say 'hi.' Why ask it in the form of a question that is not actually a question?

Our brains are wired differently. And many of us are hyper-sensitive to sound, light, touch and taste. This is why we tend to get anxious in noisy restaurants, crowded places and shopping centers.

They say we have low empathy. What that means is we have a hard time understanding another person's intentions and internal mindset. When someone approaches me I have no idea if they are going to smile and say 'hi' or if they are going to take a swing at me.

The public, and some doctors, think this means we are cold, aloof and uncaring. That's not true. Most of us feel extreme emotions. We rarely show it though. And we usually have a hard time verbalizing it.

Some of us have a hard time knowing when someone is  being sarcastic or joking. That's because the people who claim to be joking aren't actually saying something funny.

Can you imagine how difficult it would be to interact with friends, neighbors, coworkers and strangers if everything they said was strange and confusing? If their words didn't match their intent? If they asked how you are doing when they really mean hello? If their insults were always followed up with, "Lighten up, it's just a joke."

It goes back to that alien thing. We have a different way of communicating. We're more literal and straightforward in our language. And we have a different way of showing love. We aren't always openly demostrative but when we show we care, you know it's for real.

They say we are broken because we don't understand the neurotypical world. I say the neurotypical world is broken because they don't understand us. 

With us it's what you see is what you get.

The hard part for you is understanding what you are seeing.

#ThisIsAutism

Autism Speaks is at it Again

Autism Speaks (Lies) is will be in Washington D.C. November 12-14 doing their best to spread lies, hatred and fear about their vision of Autism. 

Autism Speaks is trying to convince lawmakers that autism is a national health crisis and the families of autistics live in fear and despair every day, essentially prisioners of this debilitating affliction.

Please visit the link below to read their blog about the visit and leave a comment on their site.
http://www.autismspeaks.org/news/news-item/autism-speaks-washington-call-action

Understand a Man; Deal With a Woman

I follow the Chat for Adults with HFA and Asperger's.

A few times now I have noticed articles that explain to women how they can understand and support their Aspie husband.

Just yesterday they posted the link on their Facebook page for the article on Understanding Your Aspergers Partner. I was hoping a similar article would be posted for men so they could understand their Aspie women.

Well low and behold, today they did just that: How to Deal with an Aspergers Woman.

Deal? How to 'deal' with an Asperger's Woman? No understanding, just "here's how to put up with her."

I'm sure that wasn't the intent, but that choice of words rubbed me the wrong way. I'd rather be understood than dealt with.

Lack of Empathy, or Just a Cultural Difference?

Do autistics really lack empathy?

This idea has been rolling around in my head today. One of the "symptoms" of autism that I have a problem accepting is the idea that we lack empathy.

In the context of autism, empathy means the ability to know what another person is thinking or feeling. It's the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes; to view the world from their perspective.

I've taken the Baron-Cohen empathy test and failed miserably. By all accounts I should accept this idea that I lack empathy, but for some reason it has been bugging me. Today I finally realized why.

It is no secret that when a neurotypical and an autistic get together, the autistic will have difficulty empathizing with the NT. However amongst one's own kind, many autistics find they are able to empathize with other people on the spectrum. Many of us also empathize strongly with animals.

For this reason many of us agree that while we do have trouble reading NT's and understanding their motives, we see it more as a communication block, not as a lack of empathy.

Whether one has empathy or not is always judged from the NT's perspective. Yet researchers and the general NT public will readily admit they can not put themselves in the place of an autistic. They don't know what an autistic is thinking or feeling.

In other words, NT's lack empathy in relation to autistics. Just as autistics lack empathy in relation to neurotypicals.

Is it really fair to say autistics have low empathy when both sides are lacking?

I compare this to a difference in culture where when dealing with a person from a foreign land it can be difficult to put yourself in their shoes because things are so different where they come from.

Consider Bob, a typical NT from the Unites States. In the U.S. being somewhat loud, talkative and boisterous is considered 'friendly" and normal.

Bob is in a restaurant with a group of his friends. They are reading their menu and trying to decide what to order. They look around to the diners near them and ask their neighbors what they ordered and if it is any good.

The group is considered friendly and outgoing by U.S. standards. Now imagine a tourist couple from Asia is sat at the table closest to Bob and his friends.

The tourists are quiet, reserved and soft-spoken compared to Bob and his American friends. Bob notices the quiet couple and decides they are just shy and need help coming out of their shell. He tries to engage the two in conversation.

The couple responds politely to Bob but never fully participates in a conversation. They appear to be a bit embarrassed by the attention. At times they even seem a little annoyed. Bob and his friends are confused by the tourist's reaction because where they come from, people like making small talk with strangers in restaurants.

Bob and his friends are considered NT, and are said to have high empathy, yet when dealing with someone from a foreign place they lack empathy. They don't have the ability to view the world from the perspective of someone who is different from themselves. Their empathy only works with others of like mind.

The Asian couple also lacks empathy towards the American diners. The Asians can not put themselves in the American's shoes to see that they are actually being friendly, not rude.

Is it really fair to say a person has empathy if they only can read others that are just like them?

Isn't this what is really happening between neurotypicals and autistics? People with autism seem to be culturally different. They have different mannerisms and different opinions of what is considered friendly and polite in society.  While they do have trouble reading foreingers, they read their own kind just fine. Much like NT's do.

I don't think it is any more fair to say that autistics lack empathy than it is to say that Asians do.

Is Ann Coulter Autistic?

Ann Coulter said something stupid today.

Yes, I know that sentence is redundant. Bear with me here.

In reply to a discussion that Republican senators would have to have a member of  their family killed before they would support the gun bill, Ann suggested we start with Meghan McCain.

MSNBC's Martin Bashir suggested that Republican senators need to have a member of their families killed for them to support the Democrats' gun proposals. (Let's start with Meghan McCain!)

 Her remark led people wondering if she has autism since she seems to have no empathy for people.

I think it's great that people are more aware of autism and thinking about what it means. But I'm not ok with the general public thinking that anyone who acts like a heartless jerk is autistic. Because that's not how we are.

I think one of the problems is that a lot of the general population use 'empathy' when they mean 'sympathy' or 'compassion.'

Empathy is the ability to read another person and know what that person is thinking or feeling.

Sympathy is sharing what the other person is feeling.

Compassion is when you have a strong feeling of sympathy and an urge to allieviate it.

It does appear that Coulter lacks empathy. She also appears to lack sympathy and compassion. Most autistic people I have seen have a high degree of sympathy and compassion but they are not good at reading people and knowing that they are thinking or feeling, therefore they lack empathy.

Maybe Ann Coulter is a psychopath. Or she might have some other type of personality disorder. But I don't believe she has a neurological disorder.

Also, she talks too damn much to be autistic. Autistics don't like talking for no reason but that is all Ann does. Autistics like facts and logic, two things you won't find in an Ann Coulter rant.

I'm going to come right out and diagnosis Coulter as not autistic.

When We Say We're Different, We Mean It

I'm reading on an online support group about a mother asking what she should do with her son. He is PDD NOS, in college, studying to be an engineer, loves gaming and doesn't socialize much. It sounds like he is AST, Autism Spectrum Typical. In our world, he's normal. But she wants him to be NT normal, so she's asking how to get him out to socialize more.

Many people on the spectrum have a much lower need for social interaction to be satisfied. NTs don't understand this and always ask what they can do to encourage more socialization.

Nothing. We just don't need it.

I work in customer service, I talk on the phone 8 hours a day to people, I also have to deal with social interaction in the break room, walking down the hall, at the grocery store and various other places throughout the day.

People are everywhere! I have to step outside what is normal for me and interact with them every day, all day. I am more than maxed out on social interaction. Being alone at home is RELAXING, it's not a bad thing.

NTs really need to understand that when we say we're different, we really are different. Maybe because it's because NTs are so used to their words not meaning what they say, but when autistics speak, we say exactly what we mean.

We are different. We have different needs. Different things give us pleasure and different things cause us stress.

When we say we are different that isn't code for "we're pathetically waiting around for you to come save us and teach us how to be NT."

We are wired differently. Literally, the way the connections are formed in our brains is different from NT people. It will always be that way. Forcing me to go make small talk to someone doesn't make me NT, it makes me annoyed.

Would you be so eager to change your child if they were born blue eyed instead of brown eyed? Would you be so concerned about 'fixing' their blond hair if you felt they really should have been brunette?

Why the obsession with 'fixing' autistics?

We're not broke; we're different.

Now If You Don't Mind, I'm Leaving

Here's one from the Things People Say But Don't Really Mean file:

I'm watching a video on YouTube and at the end the lady closes by saying, "...now if you don't mind, I'm leaving."

And it made me wonder... if he does mind, is she obligated to stay?

What Is Autism

What Is Autism
Autism is a neurological disorder characterized by problems with social interactions, communication and repetative movements.

An autistic brain is different. The various areas of the brain aren't wired the same way they are in neurotypical people. The different areas don't talk to each other the way they should. Or at least they don't talk to each other in a way that is considered 'normal'.

One famous autistic, Temple Grandin, says autistic brains are similar to prey animals; they are always on the alert for danger and scare easily.

People on the autistic spectrum get overwhelmed easily. Sounds, smells, textures and tastes can be overwhelming. Something that seems like no big deal to a regular person, such as a gentle pat on the back, may be extremely painful to an autistic person.

Is There An Austism Epidemic
As of 2008, CDC estimated 1 out of 1000 children had an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Today we count 1 out of 88 children with an ASD. This had led many question whether there is an autism epidemic.

One cause for the rise in number of diagnoses is due to broadening the defintion of autism. It now includes a spectrum of disorders ranging from severe (Rain Man) to mild (Sheldon Cooper of Big Bang Theory). Most people will realize the Rain Man has a distinct problem with his brain, whereas the Sheldon character they may only view as a quirky, socially inept individual with strange OCD habits. It has not yet been confirmed by the writers, but many of us see ourselves reflected in Sheldon Cooper.

Self Stimulation
When their senses start going into overdrive, many autists use stimming, or self stimulation, to soothe themselves. They may shake their hands, hit their heads, rock band and forth or spin around.

They do this because they are experiencing sensory overload. Sensory overload hurts. It physically hurts. This is the reason so many autists retreat deep inside themselves or seem to be loners; they are trying to block out as much stimuli as possible just to get through the day.

Autism comes from greek word autós, meaning self.

Autism is a neurological disorder; it is not, as originally classified, a psychological one.

Describe Autism in One Word

Someone asked me to describe autism in one word.

I replied, "No."

They looked at me like I was even more crazy than usual.

I can't answer in one word.

But I can do it in two: sensory overload.



Watch the video:

Sensory Overload (Interacting with Autism Project) from Miguel Jiron on Vimeo.